The Concept of: Asking for Help and Offering Help

When Asking for Help….
The idea of asking for help can be a crippling experience base on our lived experiences, and both internal or external pressures and expectations. Which can lead to us struggling through alone and not understanding how to go about asking for help and/or knowing how to accept it.

Starting off give yourself a more comfortable starting point:
1. Who are my safest relationships that I can lean on? (Ie: Who can I be most vulnerable with).
2. What type of help am I needing?
3. What is the most comfortable mode of communication (texting, calling, face-to-face)?
4. What is the most direct language I can use to articulate my need?

When Offering Help…
Something we need to be mindful of, is how we offer support and help. Naming to someone “let me know if you need anything”, “I’m always here”, or “just ask if you need something”—— Are not the most ideal ways to show up for someone in need. These are however great openers to star the conversation; because depending on the individual that opening question could be too overwhelming for them to identify their need and then ask for it.

Breaking it down to size can be a more manageable start: I am wanting to be there for you and help. Would dropping off dinner or taking you out for dinner work for you? In this example you have given context and specifics to the type of help you are capable of offering, what that could look like, and ultimately asking permission if that would be helpful for them.