Was reminded of a beautiful, yet heart breaking grief thought process this week. When we have had a major loss we often had the pleasure to know them their whole life, yet we grieve so much for having to exist without them knowing us as we continue to age.
It’s such helpful context to remind ourselves that both these realties are true and have different emotions that are important to validate.
We often look to time removed from the loss and place a judgement on that time. “I shouldn’t be impacted by this in this way anymore, I shouldn’t still be crying, I shouldn’t be this mad anymore, I should have learned to accept this….” The ‘shouldn’ts’ and ‘shoulds’ take away from the processing, healing, and the grief itself.
Two things I can say for certain when it comes to grief are: 1. There is no right way of grieving (as long as I am not avoiding it completely or numbing it out completely). 2. If you’re having an emotional state related to grief—— it’s the RIGHT one that is needed.
If you find yourself judging someone else’s grief—- know that you have a privilege within that judgement: you’re not experiencing their pain and loss. Push yourself in your discomfort and judgement and get curious and ask safe questions to increase your understanding of this person, and/or give space. Your judgement is not theirs to fix (it’s yours).
The key piece when working with someone that experiences an addiction is looking past the behaviour and into who that individual is and what brought them to this point.
Addiction Counselling...
Addiction Counselling...
